Good Morning.
Being a grandparent is a great deal easier than being a parent. Parents get into confrontations. The two-year-old won't take a nap. The four-year-old refuses to eat her vegetables. The fifth grader was sent to the principal's office for smarting off at a teacher who goes to your church.
The adolescent thing does not need detailing. It's why parents suddenly go gray and take up yoga if they're among the lucky ones. It's why they don't sleep well for years. The kid can now drive a car, get pregnant, and go to war. It was bad enough dropping him or her off at school on the first day of kindergarten but saying good bye to a college freshman or an Army recruit at the airport is horrifying.
The first thing about being a grandparent is that you can send the cherubs home after a day of letting them make a fort with the living room drapes and providing them with a diet of mac and cheese, potato chips, hot fudge sundaes, and Shirley Temples. "My children aren't supposed to have soda," the mother declares firmly. "Did they get a serving of fruit?" "Yes," you reply because there was Grenadine in the beverage and a cherry on the sundae.
Being a grandparent allows you to look at your children's children through a completely different lens. Their secrets become
your treasure, their dreams your sacred trust. You nod your head in agreement when one of them announces during Thanksgiving dinner that anyone who is eating the turkey you just prepared should have to perform community service. "I like your rainbow bracelet," you tell her cousin and give her a rainbow flag for her birthday.
My grandkids are now 16, 15, 14, and 13. They don't look alike or do alike. Two are blond and two are brunette. The girls wear their hair long, although the blonde once donated hers to Locks of Love and then promptly grew it out. The gentleman has sported a variety of cuts. Two are up to their eyeballs in sports, while their cousins are in music and theater. I have no idea whether these interests will lead to financial assistance for college or a career down the line, and it doesn't matter. The soccer player likes to cook, enjoys interior design, and has expressed an interest in oncology. The trumpet player in marching band loves animals and has talked about marine biology. The oldest cousin will likely do something professional with her theater, but it may involve music or not because she also likes Shakespeare. The grandson says he would like to stay in sports
as a coach or trainer.
This is the deal about being a grandparent, at least one worthy of the title. You want these darlings to grow up to be what they
want to be, not what you want them to be. If the band girl eventually studies whale song for a living, it's okay. If the actress starts a repertory company in rural Montana, wonderful. If the soccer star designs hospices, what could be more splendid. If the hockey man coaches high school kids, perfect. If they end up doing anything that makes them want to get up in the morning and hopefully make the world a better place, all will be well.
Best regards,
Elisabeth
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