Good morning.
The most ridiculous piece of junk mail I ever received was an advertisement for a senior citizen dating service. This outfit wanted me to go on a Caribbean cruise where I would meet some old geezer probably looking for someone to brown his
pork chops. Not happening, thank you very much.
Today I received flyers from a realtor who will do a free market analysis of my home, a group offering me a steak dinner
and a seminar about why I'm paying too much for my utilities, a store wanting me to try out their new mattress, a retirement
home that will give me a tour of the place plus a free agility test and lunch, hopefully in that order, and an audiologist who
would like to fit me with a hearing aid. I know half a dozen realtors, including my son-in-law, who would be more than happy to help me sell my home. I do not feel my utilities are unreasonable and couldn't do the dinner because parking is a hike from the restaurant where the meeting is being held. I like my old mattress and sleep better than most people my age. The retirement home is for people who have ten times the income that I do and are probably ten times more agile. My hearing is the only thing that works properly although I sometimes confuse the doorbell with the timer on the oven.
Then there are the political mailers with a photo of the smiling candidate and his or her perfect family. Inside the brochure,
usually done in patriotic colors, is the candidate's platform: excellence in education, fiscal responsibility, crime-free
neighborhoods, access to health care, a robust economy, and a reduction in taxes with no impact on the quality of services. The flyer also includes the person's education, professional experience, and leisure activities enjoyed with the perfect family. It has photos of the candidate volunteering at a local soup kitchen and running in a charity race. If the material is distributed during the general election cycle, it doesn't mention a political party because the point is to get elected.
I have a variety of resources besides junk mail to find what I need:
1. The yellow pages, although the phone book that gets delivered to my door these days is a generous 5" x 8" - I measured it -
and unreadable to even a teenager with 20/20 vision. 2. The television that provides 5 minutes of product or political advertising for every 10 minutes of what I prefer to watch.
3. My daughter who knows everyone within a 20 mile radius of my home and can suggest a bakery, a tree surgeon, or a dermatologist. She has refrained from recommending a candidate or a companion for which I am grateful.
Best regards,
Elisabeth
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