Good Morning.
My husband and I decided early on that we weren't the type to go roaming around on New Year's Eve. We didn't like parties where people wear glittery hats with elastics and get all kissy with total strangers. We preferred to celebrate at home but we wanted to do something we didn't normally do so we ordered up a couple of lobsters for dinner. This wasn't cheap but
cheaper than going to a decent restaurant and probably getting stuck at the five o'clock seating with a bunch of old people.
Eating a lobster is not a refined activity. You should wear your comfortable jeans and an old shirt. Make up on a woman is a total waste of time and a carefully coiffed hairstyle will look sort of silly. The table should be covered with newspapers or other throwaway material and the diner should be provided with a nutcracker, a pick or a seafood fork, a bib or a large dishtowel that can serve as one, and a personal supply of melted butter served in a little dish sitting over a tea candle. A large bowl for the discarded shells is also a necessity.
The big deal is that you have to kill a living creature right in your own home. Some people are convinced that lobsters don't feel pain because their nervous systems are primitive, but only the most brazen among us would say that they can slaughter something without being somewhat conflicted about it. Methods of cooking include broiling and steaming but boiling is the most common way so that's what we'll discuss here.
When selecting a lobster, you should pick out a feisty one because thrashing about shows that it's healthy. You don't want some sluggish old thing that may have a cold. Lobsters that have recently shed their hard shells and are in softer mode are easier to crack but will have less meat that a creature right before the molting process. Don't buy anything in the pound category that is too young or a two and a half pound senior citizen that should be allowed to live out its days in peace. About a pound and a half to three quarters is perfect, and you should eat the lobster on the day you bring it home from the market.
The big claws will be held shut with heavy rubber bands, but you can get pinched by the legs so watch how you pick up
your supper. Grab it by the back. Don't put it in fresh water from the the tap to keep it happy for a few hours; salt water creatures die in anything other than salt water and adding salt from the cupboard doesn't match Mother Nature's genius.
Keep it in its wrapper in the fridge but plan to cook it up within a reasonable period of time, like an hour or so.
To make the the killing more humane, put the lobsters in the freezer for at least 15 minutes to numb them. Fill a 4 to 5 gallon pot with water, sprinkle generously with kosher or sea salt, and bring to a rolling boil. This will take longer than you think so adjust your dinner hour accordingly and have a cocktail to numb yourself too. When the water is boiling, plunge each lobster head first into the pot and cover it. A pound and a halfer will take about 15 minutes to cook and give you time to make your melted butter and maybe a salad. Nobody will be interested in a nice green vegetable or a fancy potato and tackling a lobster is time-consuming so anything hot will get cold. Throw a salad together and set a jug of chilled white wine on the table. When the lobsters are a lovely red color, remove them and allow them to rest for 5 minutes. They will be full of water so shake them over your sink. Remove the rubber bands and use a big sharp knife to slice open the underside of the tail section lengthwise. A lobster will not fit on a dinner plate so invest in some platters that can serve up something else on other occasions or just plunk the thing right on those newspapers.
To begin the eating process, tear off a large claw by twisting at the base and use a nutcracker to break it apart. Pry out the flesh with a pick or a seafood fork. Dip in butter and eat or place in the butter to sit and soak while you keep working. Always have more butter in a pan on the stove for refills. Do not invite your physician for dinner.
Now spread apart the tail section and use the pick or fork to extract the flesh. Most of the time it will come out in one magnificent piece. Have a steak knife available to cut it up into bite-sized pieces for dipping or soaking in the butter.
Now twist off the spindly legs and suck the little bit of sweet meat from them. The little flipper pieces at the end of the tail can also be sucked. Just do it and don't talk about it.
There are other lobster parts that are edible but not particularly appealing to some. The green stuff, called tomalley, is sort of a pancreas organ, and if you have a lady lobster, there may be eggs sitting around that turned red during cooking. I do not eat these delicacies, but my beloved left nothing behind except the eyes, the feelers, and the shell. It took him nearly two hours to finish off a lobster and he seldom spoke during what was clearly a spiritual experience for him. I was a bit jealous but learned to live with it.
Best regards,
Elisabeth
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