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Holiday Cheer


Good Morning.

I am working on my annual Christmas newsletter that I send to friends and family. I get several in return and here's the deal: none of them, including mine, are honest representations of what's going on in real life. Some of this glossing over is an attempt to celebrate the season and some is trying to make things better than they are, but a lot of it is a conscious effort to keep the recipients of the letter from knowing the truth.


Here is a typical letter:

Warmest greetings to our friends and family.

Virgil decided last spring to leave his position at Triumph Bank and is now working in environmental management.

He comes home every night with exciting tales of his new career.

Our oldest daughter, Anastasia, is still in New York and hoping to be a model. She is living in a small apartment with a roommate who would like to work for a major publisher. They are enjoying life in the Big Apple.

Jonathan was accepted at the University of Nebraska but is undecided about a major. He spent last summer exploring some of the wilderness areas of our beautiful country with a group of friends. We joined him at their final stop in rural Montana and came home together for some quiet, family time.

Naomi is volunteering at a retirement home after school. She rides her bike there every day. When she can find time in her busy schedule, she takes photographs of nature. She says it inspires her.

I am still working in constituent services for Congressman Leonard Quinnipiac. I have become very good friends with the congressman's wife, Sally, and we see each other regularly. In my spare time I try out international recipes. Last night was Italian.

Love,

Louise

Here is the way the letter is honestly written:

Hi Folks.

Virgil got fired last spring after thirty years at Triumph Bank. He is working as a seasonal employee at a tree farm. Last week his chain saw was stolen by someone who was later caught by police in the parking lot at Walmart.


Our oldest daughter, Anastasia, is still in New York. She is working in a car wash and living in a 300 square foot dump with a male roommate who wants to be a book editor but is currently also at the car wash. Annie does the interiors and Boomer does the outside windows and mirrors. They sit around in Central Park when they're off work because they're broke and it's free.

Jonathan was accepted at the University of Nebraska but never showed up because he has no idea what he wants to do. He spent last summer wandering around the western United States with a group of people twice his age who also have no idea what they want to do. In August we drove to a small town in Montana after being notified by a park ranger that he'd overheard someone in the group say they were planning to rob a convenience store in Billings because they were out of money. We drove Jonathan back to Omaha and locked him in his room.

Naomi was caught shoplifting a television at Best Buy and is doing community service at a retirement home. She rides her bike because she couldn't pass her drivers' test, thank God. Mimi takes pictures of insects when she has time off. She says they remind her of our family.


I am still working for Congressman Leonard Quinnipiac. Unbeknownst to the public, the congressman will probably be indicted on bribery charges next week. I have become close friends with his wife, Sally, because we go to the same marriage counselor. In my spare time I try out new ways to turn out meals for under $.75 per person. Last night we had manicotti stuffed with oatmeal.

Ciao,

Louise

And best regards,

Elisabeth


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