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Writer's picturebetsineid

Fa La La La La Land


Good Morning.


I am pleased to report that my quaint little cottage is decked out for the season and the only missing pieces are the presents that aren't wrapped yet and the fire in my fake fireplace. Not to worry. I have gel fuel on the way and it will provide a reasonable facsimile for the flames you purists generate with crumpled up newspapers, carefully arranged kindling, aged oak or cedar, and a great deal of patience.

My tree is thinner than the big fat one I had last year and doesn't take up too much room. It is covered with gold cherubs, musical instruments, red balls in various sizes, and sprigs of bittersweet. It is topped with an angel that is clearly showing her age. I find her oddly comforting.

I also have three nativity sets in the living room. One was given to me when I was ten years old and consists of white porcelain figures in a large wooden stable. The figures have yellowed and are missing half a halo or a wing here and there,

but my children have been discussing who will get the set for quite some time now. The second group was given to my husband and me as a wedding gift and is painted with strong, earthy colors. I like this creche because the principals actually look Jewish rather than Anglo-Saxon. The third set is something I picked up decades ago and is beat up like the first one but looks okay on an end table that dates to the eighteenth century.

I have bronze musicians who are playing various instruments on the mantle. They are in permanent residence but seem appropriate for the holidays. I have six English lanterns and a supply of tea candles ready to go. A large wreath with the same traditional colors as the tree is hanging on one side of an open armoire because it's too big to hang over the fake fireplace. I purchased the outside wreath from my grandson who sells greenery items for his hockey team. I have no other exterior holiday decor but several of my neighbors are lighting up the night, some more tastefully than others.

I have made Christmas adornments from time to time although I believe I am finally retired from that sort of activity. On the butcher block in the kitchen are eight elves about ten inches high that have been variously described as cute and creepy.

I made them with apples that nicely withered into elfin faces, provided them with wire bodies covered with fiberfill, and

dressed them in work clothes fashioned from scraps of material. They have real wool hair I purchased from a craft store and wire spectacles. My odd little men wear name tags: Ezra, Waldo, Dudley, Gilbert, Cedric, Phineas, Nigel, and Felix. I also have Mexican tin lanterns and rusted stars and garland in the kitchen to offset the chrome handles on the painted cabinets. I am renting, remember, or those handles would be replaced with hardware that looks old like the cupboards. I like old. I am old.

Unwilling to spring for one of those pricey villages, I created one from small cardboard boxes and products like Cheerios, shredded wheat, raisins, croutons, nuts, and oatmeal. The stained glass windows on the church are made from big swirly lollipops I smashed up with a hammer. The shutters on the other buildings are bits of corrugated box and the window panes are toothpicks. The signs are made from paper I painted with coffee and quickly aged in the microwave. In addition to The Church of St. Nicholas and the home of Mr. and Mrs. Jack Frost, we have several small businesses: Comfort and Joy, Attorneys at Law; Fleece Navidad, Fine Woolens; O. Tannebaum, Bookseller; Stollen Goods, Specialty Breads; Miss L. Toe, Ballet Studio; Don We Now Our Gay Apparel, Gentlemen's Clothiers; and my personal favorite, The Red Nose Tavern.

You are free to call my physician and report my flight of fancy, but she will just tell me to lose weight. Not right now.


Best regards,

Elisabeth


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